Committed, Protected, Prepared: Estate Planning Tips for Unmarried Partners

More couples than ever are building committed, long-term relationships without marrying. Whether by choice, circumstance, or principle, many Americans are opting out of marriage—but not out of commitment.

Cultural norms around marriage have shifted dramatically in recent decades. Between 1996 and 2018, the number of unmarried partners in the U.S. more than tripled, rising from 6 million to 19 million.¹ Among adults under 30, 12 percent were living with an unmarried partner in 2019, compared with just 5 percent in 1995.² As of 2024, only 47 percent of U.S. households were headed by married couples, the second-lowest level since the Census began tracking marital status in 1940.³

Despite these changes, the law has not kept pace. Without proper estate planning, an unmarried partner generally has no legal authority to make medical or financial decisions if you become incapacitated, nor any guaranteed right to inherit your assets. Dying without a plan (intestate) leaves state law to determine who receives your property, which rarely accounts for unmarried partners. This makes having a tailored estate plan essential.

Revocable Living Trusts

A revocable living trust allows you to specify how your assets are managed and distributed during your lifetime, in the event of incapacity, and after your death. You typically serve as the initial trustee, maintaining control of your assets. If you become unable to manage your affairs, a successor trustee you designate can step in seamlessly, without court involvement.

After your death, the trust governs how your assets are distributed to your beneficiaries, often avoiding probate and maintaining privacy. While more costly than a simple will, a trust can serve as the cornerstone of a comprehensive estate plan, especially for unmarried couples.

Wills and Pour-Over Wills

A last will and testament lets you direct what happens to your property at death and nominate someone (an executor) to carry out your wishes. If you have minor children, a will allows you to name a guardian. Unlike a trust, a will does not provide for management of your affairs during life or in the event of incapacity and must go through probate, which can be time-consuming, public, and costly.

For trust-based plans, a pour-over will acts as a safety net. It ensures that any assets not already transferred to your trust during your lifetime are “poured over” into the trust after your death, so everything is handled according to your instructions.

Beneficiary Designations

Retirement accounts, insurance policies, and many other accounts allow you to name beneficiaries who will automatically receive the funds at your death. Periodically reviewing these designations is crucial to avoid mistakes, such as leaving an ex-spouse as a beneficiary. You may also choose to name a trust as a beneficiary to maintain control over timing, protection from creditors, or oversight of distributions.

Powers of Attorney and Advance Directives

Planning for incapacity is as important as planning for death. Without legal documents, your loved ones may need to go to court to have someone appointed to manage your finances or healthcare, and unmarried partners are often left out. Essential documents include:

• Medical power of attorney names someone to make healthcare decisions on your behalf.
• Financial power of attorney names someone to handle financial and legal matters if you cannot.
• Advance directive outlines end-of-life care preferences.
• HIPAA authorization allows designated individuals to access your medical information.

Securing Your Shared Future

Whether you and your partner are approaching retirement or just beginning your life together, it’s critical to answer key questions: Who will make decisions if you cannot? Who will inherit your property? How can you ensure the law recognizes your partner? By creating or updating an estate plan, you protect your partner and ensure your wishes are honored, regardless of marital status.

Strauss Attorneys can help. Our experienced estate planning team works with unmarried couples to develop comprehensive plans that provide protection, clarity, and peace of mind. Contact us today to schedule a private consultation.

¹ Mike Schneider, Unmarried partners in US have tripled in 2 decades, AP News (Sept. 24, 2019), https://apnews.com/article/848605aad88a418c9b606c0f745ae33f.

² Juliana Menasce Horowitz et al., The landscape of marriage and cohabitation in the U.S., Pew Rsch. Ctr. (Nov. 6, 2019), https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/11/06/the-landscape-of-marriage-and-cohabitation-in-the-u-s/.

³ How has marriage in the US changed over time?, USAFacts (Feb. 11, 2025), https://usafacts.org/articles/state-relationships-marriages-and-living-alone-us/.