How to Leave Money to Your Kids Without It Going to Their Spouses

Every family has assets, traditions, or other pieces of its legacy that it hopes to preserve for future generations. Whether it is a family home, a business, or accumulated wealth, keeping those assets within the family often requires thoughtful planning.

You may have specific reasons for wanting to leave an inheritance to your children without having it pass to their spouses. However, you may not know what steps you can take to make that happen. Fortunately, there are several legal strategies that can help protect an inheritance and keep it within your family, both before a gift is made and, in some circumstances, after assets have already been transferred.

Why Parents May Want to Keep an Inheritance in the Family

Parents sometimes assume that an outright gift or inheritance to their child comes with an unwritten "family-only" designation. However, once an adult child receives an inheritance, keeping those assets separate from marital property can become more difficult without the appropriate legal protections.

The decision to protect an inheritance from a son- or daughter-in-law can feel personal, even when it is not. Parents may worry that taking these precautions sends the wrong message about how they view their child's marriage or spouse. In reality, there are many practical reasons to establish these protections.

For example, parents may want to:

• Pass family wealth down to grandchildren
• Preserve a family home or business for future generations
• Ensure that assets accumulated by one family remain within that family over time

There are also several potential risks to consider:

• Commingling Inherited Assets: If your child deposits an inheritance into a joint bank account with their spouse or uses the funds to pay down the mortgage on a jointly owned home, those assets may lose their separate property status and become commingled marital property.
• Division During Divorce: If inherited assets become marital property, they may be subject to division in the event of a divorce.
• Unintended Inheritance Transfers: If your child passes away unexpectedly without a comprehensive estate plan, their surviving spouse may become a primary heir. This could put assets you intended for your grandchildren on a path to a new spouse or another family following remarriage.

These concerns are not limited to families experiencing divorce, distrust, or conflict. In fact, J.P. Morgan Private Bank has identified the possibility of an ex-spouse receiving family wealth as a leading concern among parents.¹ The firm notes that families may use trusts and other planning tools, including prenuptial and postnuptial agreements, to prevent inherited wealth from eventually passing to a child's former spouse.²

A recent bestselling memoir illustrates how easily inherited wealth can become entangled with marital property. In her 2026 memoir, Strangers, author and heiress Belle Burden describes using proceeds from two inherited family trusts to purchase a Tribeca apartment and a Martha's Vineyard home. She titled both properties jointly with her husband.³

When the marriage ended, her husband initially had a legal claim to half of each property. This could have forced Burden to buy him out of homes she says were purchased with her inherited funds.⁴Although the dispute ultimately ended with Burden keeping both properties,⁵ her experience highlights how inherited separate property can become commingled with jointly owned marital assets.

Estate Planning Tools to Protect Family Wealth

Wanting to protect an inheritance from a child's current or future spouse does not necessarily reflect how you feel about that person. Instead, it may simply reflect your long-term wishes for how family assets should be managed and distributed.

Fortunately, there are several legal tools that can help families put those intentions into practice.

• Trusts for Inheritance: Rather than transferring assets directly to an adult child, you can place them in a trust for which your child is the beneficiary. Because the trust, rather than your child, technically owns the property or funds, the assets generally remain legally separate from individual and marital property. This arrangement can help protect an inheritance from division during a divorce or claims by a surviving spouse if your child passes away.
• Life Estates for Housing Situations: If you want your child to enjoy a family home or vacation property during their lifetime, you can give them a life estate through a will or by deed during your lifetime. A life estate allows your child to live in or use the property for the remainder of their life. When your child passes away, ownership transfers to the individuals you designated, such as your grandchildren, rather than to your child's spouse. Because your child never owns the property outright and their interest ends at death, a life estate may help keep the home outside a marital estate or prevent it from becoming part of a dispute if the relationship ends. The level of protection depends on how the arrangement is structured and applicable state law.
• Rights of Occupancy in a Trust or Will: Another option is to place the home in a trust or direct in your will that it be held in trust, giving your child the right to live there without owning the property. The trust can establish important conditions, including who is responsible for property taxes, insurance, and maintenance, as well as what happens if your child moves out. Since the trust owns the home, your child has a right to use the property rather than outright ownership. This may help keep the home outside a marital estate or prevent it from becoming part of a dispute if the marriage ends. However, as with a life estate, these protections may weaken if marital funds are used to pay for the property or its improvements.
• Separately Titled Accounts for Gifted Funds: Keeping monetary gifts and other liquid assets separate requires careful management. Gifts should remain in accounts titled solely in your child's name rather than being deposited into joint checking accounts or used to pay joint debts. This can help preserve their separate legal identity.
• Your Child's Estate Plan: Your child can also use estate planning documents, including wills, trusts, and beneficiary designations, to help preserve inherited wealth for future generations. These documents can direct assets to children, grandchildren, or other intended beneficiaries rather than allowing them to pass to unintended recipients.

In general, these protections are most effective when incorporated into an estate plan from the beginning, before money or property changes hands. Once an inheritance or gift has been transferred to your child, your ability to control how those assets are managed may be more limited. However, there may still be steps you can take to reduce potential risks.

Protecting an Inheritance After the Fact

Some parents prefer to transfer wealth during their lifetimes rather than wait until after they pass away. This approach, often called "giving while living," has become increasingly popular. One source found that nearly half of clients intending to pass on assets choose to share a portion of their wealth during their lifetimes, allowing them to see family members benefit directly from those gifts.⁶

However, parents may sometimes realize too late that a gift or transfer was made without the legal safeguards needed to prevent commingling with marital property.

Fortunately, an inheritance that has already been transferred does not necessarily mean there are no remaining options. Depending on how the assets were titled, used, or managed, there may be ways to strengthen their protection moving forward.

Consider the following steps:

• Talk to Your Child About Formalizing the Plan: Having an open conversation with your adult child about your inheritance concerns can help ensure you share the same long-term goals. Framing the discussion around preserving family wealth for grandchildren or keeping inherited property separate can make it feel less personal and keep the focus on your family's future. Your child may be able to maintain remaining inherited funds in individually titled accounts or consider entering into a postnuptial agreement if a prenuptial agreement is no longer an option.
• Consult an Estate Planning Attorney: Once property or money has changed hands, your available options may depend on how the gift was titled, used, or commingled. An estate planning attorney, often working alongside a family law attorney, can review the circumstances and recommend strategies to provide additional protection. These may include updating beneficiary designations, establishing or modifying trusts, or coordinating marital agreements to help safeguard assets moving forward.

The sooner you have these conversations with your child and an experienced attorney, the more options you may have. Taking a proactive approach can help preserve your family's wealth while reinforcing that the goal is to protect your family's long-term interests, not to target or exclude a particular in-law.

Protect Your Family's Legacy With Thoughtful Estate Planning

Deciding how to pass wealth to your children and future generations involves more than determining who receives what. It also means considering how those assets will be managed, protected, and distributed over time.

Whether you are preparing to leave an inheritance, considering a lifetime gift, or looking for ways to protect assets that have already been transferred, having the right estate plan in place can make a meaningful difference.

The Strauss Attorneys team can help you explore estate planning strategies that reflect your family's goals and provide appropriate protections for the future. Contact us today to learn more about our estate planning services and discuss how we can help you preserve your family's legacy.

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¹ Erika Shaw & Jordan Sprechman, The Vital Role Prenups Play in Protecting Family Wealth, J.P. Morgan Priv. Bank (Mar. 11, 2026),  https://privatebank.jpmorgan.com/nam/en/insights/markets-and-investing/ideas-and-insights/the-vital-role-prenups-play-in-protecting-family-wealth. 

² Id.

³ Belle Burden Accused of Exaggerating Hardship as Divorce Documents Reportedly Show Heiress Was Far from Broke, 930 WFMD Free Talk (May 30, 2026), https://www.wfmd.com/2026/05/30/belle-burden-accused-of-exaggerating-hardship-as-divorce-documents-reportedly-show-heiress-was-far-from-broke. 

⁴ Id.

⁵ Id.

⁶ Wealth.com and The Compound Insights Release New Study on the Rise of “Giving While Living” and Family-Wide Legacy Planning, Wealth.com (Feb. 25, 2026), https://www.wealth.com/resources/press/wealth-com-and-the-compound-insights-release-new-study-on-the-rise-of-giving-while-living-and-family-wide-legacy-planning.